I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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