She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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