I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
