That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
