hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
