The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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