No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
