let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
