But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
