it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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