how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
