Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
