Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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