my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
