Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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