Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
