I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
