garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
