so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You took a bar mat shot.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
