Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
