Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
