so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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