Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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