My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
