A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
