i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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