So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Buhtt sex?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Randomize
