His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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