scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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