he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
