I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
