I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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