hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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