There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Are my feet made of real feet?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
