do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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