John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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