After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
