Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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