Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
this hospital has no fireball
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
