Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
