I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
