I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
