More tranny stories later!
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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