Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
