She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
