sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
