I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
