Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
