ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
