I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
