ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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