She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
