Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
