It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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