tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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