So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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