***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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