i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
